Friday, January 22, 2010

New York Sinks To New Depths: Beloved Mascot Mr. Met Dealt to Cleveland in Shocking Deal.

I wrote this for my baseball blog,, over the summer and with the Mets continued miscues and misfortune it's as pertinent as it was four months ago. Enjoy.

In a move that sent shockwaves throughout the world of baseball, the New York Mets sent longtime mascot Mr. Met to the Cleveland Indians in return for a pair of minor league mascots. Mr. Met, a part of the organization since 1963, had a closed-door meeting with GM Omar Minaya over the weekend in which the upset mascot revealed his frustrations with the team's lack of direction, questionable off-season moves, hotdog prices at Citi Field, and David Wright's mysterious lack of extra-base hits. Mr. Met then proceeded to call Minaya "less competent than the captain of the Titantic" and "quite possibly the worst GM since Isaiah Thomas".

After insulting the rest of the Mets organization and destroying Minaya's prized ceramic egg collection, the mascot demanded a trade, stating that he "had a better shot of winning a World Series with the Pittsburgh Pirates". Minaya, already on the hotseat for New York's mediocre play, saw no choice but to deal the face of the franchise. The team inquired about Colorado's Dinger and the Mariner Moose before ultimately settling for a package from Cleveland that included the Akron Aeros mascot, Orbit the Cat, and the Mahoning Valley Scrappers dog-like mascot, Scrappy.

At the time of the trade the Mets were 44-49 and mired in a long losing stretch that left them 10 games behind Philadelphia in the NL East. Injuries to key players had decimated the team, the pitching staff was in shambles and the Phillies 10-game winning streak had all but eliminated New York from contention; Mr. Met clearly was not amused. Fans had noticed a change in Mr. Met as the season progressed, the once omnipresent smile had been replaced with frowns, grimaces and looks of utter bewilderment. The mascot ignored requests to hold babies, stopped throwing t-shirts to fans and even refused to celebrate when the Mets captured a rare win.

Queens resident Joseph Dahmer said he had seen a different Mr. Met then in season's past. "Yeah, that big-headed doofus just wasn't the same after Jose Reyes went to the DL," commented Dahmer, "he seemed depressed all the time, but I can't really blame him, the Mets stink". Another long-time Mets' fan, Cindy Goriglia, agreed with Dahmer, saying that "he really looked like a mascot on the edge...he didn't seem to enjoy what he was doing, and I even heard rumors of a suicide attempt." Mr. Met recently failed a random drug test, but denied the rumors of a suicide attempt through his publicist, stating the the copious amounts of narcotics in his system helped to numb the pain of working for a dead-in-the-water franchise.

Reaction to the move throughout the Mets organization was mixed. Star 3B David Wright seemed glad to be rid of Mr. Met, saying "that (bleeping) mascot wore out his welcome in the Big Apple a long time ago...he had been riding me all season long for not hitting homeruns and wouldn't stop making passes at my girlfriend...I hope that (bleep) rots in Cleveland." Starting pitcher Livan Hernandez was seen leaving the stadium in tears upon hearing the news, but between sobs mentioned that "Mr. Met was my best friend on the team. He was the only one who really got me, and he was always there to comfort me after another bad outing."

The Mets' minor league mascots, including the Buffalo Bison and Savannah Sand Gnat, were sad to see their mentor leave, but excited to have a chance to perform at the major league level. It is unclear at the time whether the Mets plan to call up a mascot from their farm system or use one of the newly acquired mascots to fill the void left by the departure of Mr. Met.

When confronted by reporters, Omar Minaya refused to comment about his tumultuous relationship with Mr. Met but did release the following statement about the mascots acquired in the trade:

"We are really excited about what Orbit and Scrappy bring to this organization. They are two of the most talented mascots in all of minor league baseball and we feel that they both have the ability to contribute at the the big league level. Scrappy is full of energy, great with kids and loves being scratched behind the ears. Orbit has tremendous potential, is great with a T-shirt gun and can even do cartwheels! The city of New York has plenty of stray dogs and cats, you've all seen Oliver and Company haven't you, so it makes sense to bring them here to the Big Apple. I can't wait to see Orbit and Scrappy in action, this is an exciting day for the Mets' franchise."

With the trade of their mascot, Mr. Met, a strange season has gotten even stranger for the New York Mets. A team that came into the year with World Series aspirations finds itself unlikely to make the playoffs and forced to move on without one of the city's biggest icons. The organization was clearly in need of some change, but critics of the move wonder if it should have been Minaya or Jerry Manuel who got the boot, not Mr. Met. Many loyal fans are already calling this the darkest day in New York since the blackout of 2003. The difference between the blackout and the trade of their beloved mascot? While the power came back the next day, Mr. Met may never return to the city he called home for over 45 years. The Mets continue to play limbo as a franchise, and after this latest move, many wonder: how low can they go?